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This has been the worst week of my life....Fought so hard, forced myself, put in all I have, cried bled and tried...and to end it all, it's over :( I thought I cldnt take anymore...but it would still get worse from now on....I have to pick myself up again...its so tough. I've always been weak, always been weak...its just to hard
FUCK, I'm screwed...God sucks...I know I'm gonna regret this post later
Many thoughts, many feelings, many questions...somehow God is trying to tell me something, telling me to wait. He said He would work miracles....but what kind of miracle? "You will see the results of My handiwork", He said....what kind of handiwork? I'm afraid of tossing my life into Your hands, what if I lose my most important thing? "Am I not your most important?" He asks. Well not right now, but I'm trying...and its hard, so hard. Live by faith, not by sight? Its impossible for me right now...I'm sure You understand, I'm sure You know....Your presence is fleeting, but I know You are here with me. I know its supposed to matter...You are always here, and I wish you would be here too <3

Finally back in Singapore, for holidays! But when I got back, realised immediately that it wasn't what I thot it would be. Cause in the first day, my father told me at least 2 times, "Eh u help me with some work arh, I got a lot of things 2 do" Wat 2 do...touchdown on thurs, go msia on friday. Fast fast eh, go there do nothing oso haha. Neway came back on tuesday, my father wednesday already drag me go to work....For some reason, my father let me go out with by hehe...but most of the time I am expected in the office :( Holiday work harder than sch term. So wld 1st say sry to all my frens if cant go out with u all...
The tuba player played his last note, as the percussion section tapped out their last rhythm. Then in one motion of the arm and snap of the wrist, the conductor brought the entire concert band to a perfect ending. As I sat in the audience, out of the corner of my eye, a man in the front row of the audience caught my attention. The man leaped out of his chair, and began clapping and whistling. He had his gaze fixed on one of the players in the band. His delight in the band, and particularly in one person, was apparent to all. Before you knew it, another person, and another person, stood up from their chairs and gave the band a standing ovation. The smiles and delight on the audience's faces were enough to light up a midnight sky. I found myself swept up in the excitement and I enthusiastically joined in. This was no ordinary applause; this was a standing ovation on steroids. You would think we were an audience in a concert hall in New York City. The truth is we were a bunch of parents at a small town high school in the heartland of America delighting in our kids at their year end band concert. And while the band was very good, I have a feeling that if the band had played Yankee Doodle Dandy with kazoos and only got every other note right, we still would have given the group a standing ovation.
The image of the dad, leaping to his feet, giving his child the standing "O" is embedded in my mind. Like many of you, I have been blessed to have a dad who has given me standing ovations throughout my entire life. For everything from my first job, to my first home, to my first kid, my Dad has been there for me cheering me on. For that, I am truly grateful, and at this time of year it is a privilege to return the applause to my dad and give him a standing ovation as well.
For some of us though, the truth is we may not have had a dad who was cheering us on at all our events, or maybe he didn't even show up to the band concert to begin with. Let me offer you some encouragement by finishing my story about the band concert. Well, right next to that enthusiastic Dad who started the standing ovation was an empty chair. My first thought was that "God could be sitting in that chair." He is leaping to His feet and giving applause and encouragement. He is "Emmanuel, God with us" (Matthew 1:23). He is with us at band concerts, He is with us when we wake up, He is with us when we sleep, and He is with us when other people are not. He delights over you, He rejoices in you, and He wants to spend eternity with you. And for all who have accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, we can all look forward to receiving the ultimate standing "O" from our Heavenly Father when we get to Heaven and He says, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."
Haha so long din post again...nothing unusual lar. Just suddenly thot of blogging and sharing abit...
Yooo...long time no blog again haha. Hmm...not much 2 blog reallie. Only thing is that Easter break is coming soon! Haha 3 weeks manz...songz songz...quite excited that NEEC is coming up soon. Last year's one was great....haha, but tis time the songs abit the errmm...funny? Haha...shall see how lar when finally get there.